Insecurity

It is hard in ministry to not take things personally. God calls us in all different directions, speaks to each of us about our own lives and our communities. But when God speaks to a student, telling them to leave InterVarsity, I feel insecure and it causes me to wonder if a student is really hearing from God, or just fed up with something in the fellowship.

I know there are lots of reasons people move on. And most of them have nothing to do with me. But over the last few weeks I have been asking God to give me the faith to trust that I am still following him, and that what he has planned for us is the best path. As new students begin to arrive, I find myself second guessing the plans I heard from God last Spring. And if they fail, or when students leave, I need to remember that they were not my plans, they were God's.

I keep thinking about the passage in the bible where Jesus calms the storm. We always talk about it as fear versus faith. Fear and faith are opposite when it comes to God. If I feel fear in what I am doing, I no longer have the faith that God is going to work. And so my prayer for this year is that I would have incredible faith to trust in God in the plans he has for me and for the fellowship at Willamette.